Not As It Seems

I’ve had some life moments that appeared one way but were really not as they seemed, or sounded even. I have been getting quite a chuckle reflecting on them, so I figured I would let you laugh too.

I was on the phone with customer support. You know how those calls go, I am sure. Being that my actual phone call was going against the gain and was going well, I guess my kids figured one of them needed to change that fact.

Mid phone conversation, Wesley decided he was parched. 90% of the time, Wesley drinks milk, which he calls “No.” You read it right, “No.” I have no clue why. We actually first figured out what he was referencing when he simultaneously showed us the sign language for the word, which we had taught him when I began weaning him at about 14 months. So, when the boy is thirsty, you will hear “No. No. No” over and over. And even though it is an odd word for milk, he communicates what he wants, and what more are words than sounds for which we have a definition. Therefore, in our house, it works, but I am pretty certain no other households call milk “no,” which makes his request for it outside of our home or around other people odd.

No, No, Momma,” says Wesley, to which I begin to perform the phone on your shoulder, head cocked to the side, squat to lift the boy, all the while still working with customer service move. Wesley on my hip and my head still awkwardly balancing the phone on my shoulder, we go to the fridge in hopes of finding a sippy cup already filled and ready to go. No such luck. Wesley, now close to the phone, continues with his “No, No, No, Momma!”

Next, we go to the cabinet to get a new sippy cup to fill with milk, also known in the V Family household as “No.” Believe it or not, there is not a single one of Wesley’s cups in the cabinet, so the asking turns to begging. “Nooooooo. Nooooooo, Momma. Nooooo!”

And yes, I am still on the phone.

I decide that we will go and look for the sippy that I knew he had earlier in the morning. It had to be near the trains that Wesley and Daniel were playing with when I started the phone call. While walking from the kitchen to the living room, Wesley is bombarding me with cries of, you guessed it, “No. No. No. NO. NO. Noooooo, Momma.”

They boy simply has no patience. I wonder where he gets that from?

I am now convinced that the customer service rep has to believe that I am performing some sort or Medieval torture on my small child, causing him to beg and plead for mercy from my evil reign. After all, what would you think if you could hear a small boy crying out “No” a gazillion times?

Just my luck, I can not find the sippy anywhere. To solve the issue, I decided that Wesley will just have to drink out of Daniel’s stainless thermos that has a straw. That seems logical, right? Back to the cabinet we go.

The phone call is coming to a close, thankfully, even though I had had to ask her to repeat a few words due to them being lost amidst the “No!” wails. The rep and I are rounding out the final details just as I reopen the cabinet and grab Daniel’s cup for Wesley, which just sets Wesley off.

Nooooooooo! Momma, Noooooooo!!!! NOOOOO!” Except this time the No means No, not milk.

Go figure.

I’m so sorry but my little boy calls milk ‘no’ and I just can’t seem to find him a cup to get him some milk and now he is upset about it,” I say on the phone, while I emit a chuckle.

After the rep says “Oh, I see,” not so convincingly, she and I end the call.

I am sure after I hung up she made a note on my file to call DCS or something on me. But I promise, things are just not as they seem. No abuse, just a thirsty little boy!

——————-

As if Wesley had not done enough, this past Monday we went out in the morning to get some groceries. Both of the boys were in the cart and life was good. As we picked out some apples and put them in our reusable bags, I said to the boys “Daddy really likes this kind of apple,” to which Wesley replied in sweet and perky voice “Daddy!!!??” He began looking around the store, and I realized he was looking for Thomas. “Wesley,” I said, “Daddy is not here; he is at work today.” This did not go over well with Wesley, who was obviously wanting his dad, because he began to whine, “Daddyyyyy. Daddyyyyyy. Daddyyyy” over and over.

Times 1-15 were kinda cute. “Awww, he loves his Daddy and misses him so much,” I thought to myself.

Times 16-25 I quietly leaned over and whispered in his ear things like, “Daddy loves you Wesley but he is not here now, he is working. We will see him tonight” and “Don’t be sad Bubba. Daddy will be back tonight. He is not in the store but he will be home later.”

The words of encouragement and support were falling on deaf ears. Wesley is not backing down. He wants his Dad. “Daddy. Daddy, Momma. I wan Daddy. Daddyyyyyyy. Daddyyyyyyy!”

Times 26-35, I try to distract him. “Oh look Wesley, cheese. We like cheese, don’t we?” “Wow Bubba, look at that little girl. She looks nice doesn’t she.” Wesley is thoroughly unamused and unconvinced.

“DADDY! I wan DADDYYYYY!”

Times 36-46, I ignore him. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.

Daniel and I are about sick and tired of hearing Wesley repeat the same word over and over, especially being that Thomas is not around to solve the problem, nor will he be for several more hours.

Times 47-55 Daniel begins to console his brother, since I am seemingly ineffective. “Wesley, Daddy is not here. I am here. I will talk to you.” “I love you brother. Don’t be sad.” I had high hopes on this one, as did Daniel. Unfortunately, no dice. The cries remained.

“Daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Daddy Daddy.”

Times 56- 60 I look him straight in the eye and say sternly, “Wesley, It is OK. Daddy will be home later. Please stop crying and saying his name,” to which Wesley replies “DADDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

“I wan Daddy. DADDYYYYY!” wails Wesley.

Daniel, in a loud and exasperated voice, yells out, “WESLEY! WE DO NOT HAVE A DADDY. DON’T SAY HIS NAME. HE IS GONE!!!”

Ah, yes, yes he did.

And there is certainly nothing embarrassing about that is there?

I just wanted to look at everyone around me and explain it all a little better, or at least fill in the blanks of Daniel’s outburst: Yes. they do have a Daddy, who loves them very much. They have one; he is just not here right now. He is gone but by gone we mean at work.

That is what I wanted to say. But before I could even modify Daniel’s words or apologize to anyone around us, I realized that Wesley had stopped, and that was good enough for me. We were able to finish out our grocery shopping with no other issues, even if Daddy was not there to help.

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2 thoughts on “Not As It Seems

  1. That was too much Summer!! I love it! I’m sure you do, now that it is all over!!! Miss seeing you! Hope life is great!

  2. FB Comments, for prosperity’s sake:
    Lesley: Oh what a laugh. To the first situation we had the same thing happen this morning. I was on the phone w/ Verizon and Savanna is yelling in the background, Mommy, Chase is climbing on the table, Mommy now Chase is throwing lemons on the floor, Mommy I need to poop. It’s funny that our kids don’t NEED us until we are in the middle of something very important.

    Nichole D: The “We don’t have a daddy” is the best story i have heard in a long time! LOL. Super cute!

    Kristen: “We don’t have a daddy!” is hilarious!!! I can only imagine your horror!!

    Jessica C: Kids say the darndest things!

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