Now I Lay Me

Saturday an old college friend that led us in worship and blessed our hearts with his overwhelming love for the Lord passed away at the age of 32. The event is heartbreaking for so many reasons. He leaves behind a wife and a daughter (7 weeks old), who are now walking in my deepest fear (go and read that post!). As that past blog post attested to, no matter the If, the Then remains: God will take care of them. It does not, however, mean that there will not be some unquenchable pain in the process.

My head has been spinning with the news since I found out on Saturday, and every time there is a second where I am not moving, my spirit gets into a knot over the situation. It is all a major jolt, to say the least, and he is not even my husband, father, brother, or son.

Some, in the process of healing, left messages of gratitude for his life on his FB page. Obviously they are words he will not read, but if it helps you grieve, I will accept it and encourage it. Another friend posted a link to JoNate singing. And, if I was short on words before, I was certainly completely void of them after hearing the song, for when he recorded this piece a few years ago, who would have guessed he would literally go to sleep on a Friday night and not see Saturday morning?

I post all this because, well, it is on my mind. I post this, too, because I am being reminded of the if then promise. I post this because we all need the reminder that life is just too short, and if we die before we wake, we certainly want the Lord to be there to welcome us home.

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6 thoughts on “Now I Lay Me

  1. Sum, I’m so sorry for this loss and will definitely will be praying for the family. Thanks for sharing this very true reminder.

  2. I have struggled with this, too. It’s my worst nightmare, I do believe. That or going on without my kids or vice versa. I guess I could sum it up that the whole death process is not appealing to me, but being with Jesus in heaven is. My flesh just hates those goodbyes, even if they are temporary.

  3. Summer,

    This touches my heart so much. My greatest fear is leaving my babies behind, to face this world without me, or having to face this world without one of them. I remember reading that post you referred to. Every time that fear creeps into my heart, I remind myself of what you wrote. “If I leave them behind, then, God WILL take care of them.” A friend of mine is fighting for her life right now. Her prognosis isn’t good. She’s 32 years old. She’s a mom to a one year old and a four year old. I can’t wrap my mind around it. It’s so far over my head that I can’t even begin to understand it. My flesh wants to know why. My mind asks the question over and over again. My heart knows that God is in control. Thanks for the reminder that whatever happens in this life, on this earth, that God WILL take care of them. Of us.

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