Ouch!—That’s Some Perspective!

For starters, this day began way earlier than I had anticipated. Daniel had different plans for what time “wake up” time would be. Normally, our son is a sound sleeper that rises at an appropriate time. Today, however, he awoke at 5 AM, and I cuddled with him in his big boy bed, hoping he, and I, would fall back to sleep. I might have dozed for a moment, but there was no sound sleeping, that is for sure. As any mommy knows, this means the day will be a little difficult–for both of us.

I had some errands that needed to be taken care of, but I wanted to let Daniel pee in the potty before we took off on a trip to town, for I knew that “out and about” potty trips are not successful yet (we’ve been having major success at home though, which is wonderful!). Time passed and passed, and still no peeing in the potty—or anywhere else for that matter. I made him try, for I wanted to hit the road, and he would try, but there was no fruit for his labor. As the morning began to tick away, I decided that we were going to have to go out soon or we would hit his nap time, which normally would not be a huge deal, but with the early alarm this morning, I knew the opportunity for a public fit would greatly increase. So, pull-up on, we headed out.

For some reason, Daniel has in his mind which way our car should turn. Now, there is a 4-way stop near where we live, and if we go a certain direction, we fare towards specific places that he would enjoy (e.g.-a friend’s house, his grandma’s, his sitter’s, church, etc.) so it makes sense when he gets a little upset when we turn a different way than the one he wanted. Elsewhere in the world, however, I do not see how he should know or care which way we turn, yet he does at times……which can be very annoying. We can be in an area where he has never been before, and he will cry aloud and point a different direction, yelling “Go! Go!” Where that way goes, I have no clue, but in Daniel’s little mind, that is where we should be headed. Needless to say, each turn was the wrong one to Daniel today.

As soon as we got to our first stop, Daniel had already told me “uh-oh…..pee-pee potty,” which meant he was no longer dry. I was not mad at him, just frustrated that he and I could not enjoy a successful potty at home, complete with cheers and applause. As we went inside the building and into the restroom for a change, Daniel proceeded to whine and  pull away, for he is beginning to get a little upset at a potty mistake (which is a good sign, right?). We battled into the restroom and into the stall. He cried as I changed him, and I am tugging to keep him from trying to unlock the stall and dart out. I then decide that it is a good time for me to use the restroom, and I begin the duel to keep Daniel from trying to flush the toilet as I try to use it. Finally, we exit, mostly unscathed. Of course, we need to wash our hands now. I am beginning to feel extremely tired myself. I am after all growing a baby, as well as working off of a 5 AM wake up call. Daniel screams as I lift him to rub his hands with soap and clean them with water. Before I continue on to clean my own hands, I place him back down. He is standing near me, beginning to look under the stalls at the other ladies—a new favorite hobby upon entering a restroom.

I am cringing at what the middle-aged lady next to me, quietly washing her hands, might be thinking about me and my kiddo. Suddenly, the main door opens, and two more ladies enter, at the sight of which Daniel cowers in fear and screams “Ahh!!” at them, as if they were trying to touch him, look at him, smile at him…..something extremely terrible in his opinion, to say the least. To take some of the awkwardness off of Daniel’s screams, I say aloud “Don’t worry Daniel, they aren’t going to take you from Mommy.” After a brief pause, I follow it up with a little humor “And if they did, they would bring you back!” One of the receivers of the shrieks replies, “Yeah, I have enough with my own.” A few chuckles commence from the now crowded restroom. As I lean over to pick Daniel up to carry him out, n order to prevent any more “we should go this direction” type moments, the once quiet lady next to me turns and says,

“I’d take him…….we lost our little boy when he was his age…….I would definitely keep him.”

The lady and I are now looking eye to eye, and she looks teary-eyed just thinking about it. To be honest, those words hit me like a TON of bricks. I remember giving her a “my heart goes out to you” type of smile, but, oddly enough I can not recall if I opened my mouth and said anything back or not. My spirit had just been shot a rocket. Here I was, completely frustrated by my son’s behavior, wondering what others might be thinking and how I just wanted him to be quiet and still (a nearly impossible feat for a newly 2 year old, I know) and she was just longing to have her son back so that he could scream, cry, look under stalls, and wake up at 5AM in her presence. How extremely selfish of me!

Now that puts things into perspective.


5 thoughts on “Ouch!—That’s Some Perspective!

  1. I had a similar moment. I was complaining on FB about Stephan screaming instead of sleeping at bedtime and a relative from Norway mentioned that she’d lost a toddler. I felt awful, just like you. Makes me think twice about the motherhood moments I “hate” … well sometimes it does.

    I love to hear about Daniel though. Stephan’s totally stalled out with the potty training since we’ve been trading sicknesses. He was so close. I’m hoping once he gets back on track things won’t take long.

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